Exceptions
by saralynfara
Summary: Sirius never believed in love, but for every rule there is an exception, right? One-shot, fluffy. SB/RL


N/A : just an another little Remus / Sirius fic, because I'm so obsessed with them it's unhealthy (I wonder if it's contagious, maybe they should put me into quarantine just in case XD)

* * *

**Exceptions**

"Do you believe in love?"

Sirius looked down. Millie's eyes were hopeful and wide. Sirius wasn't surprised, the question was brought up often enough and he knew they could both hear the bells already.

Only it wasn't the same one : Sirius was hearing the death knell of their relationship (well, if you could call it that, Sirius was inwardly referring to it as an extended snogging session but Remus said it was disrespectful for the "poor girl"), nothing to do with white dresses and cake.

"No, I don't."

Millie's face fell and Sirius couldn't begin to comprehend why she looked so surprised. After all, that same question ended most of his "relationship" since Mary Temperley asked it. He laughed aloud the first time, but he didn't do it anymore, settling for a snort or something less offensive which gave him the time to get away before they began to cry.

"Listen, I think it isn't working out, you and I, he said awkwardly. So... Bye."

He took off walking fast - he was never that good with the whole "Let's break up" thing and it wasn't for lack of practice either.

He could hear Millie crying and calling out his name behind him with a shocked voice and he found it hypocritical of her, really, because they all knew what he thought about love. Well, Mary had an excuse : he was thirteen, she was his first "special friend" and she just didn't know. After all, she never met his parents and yeah... It was ludicrous to think that he could _love_ her after only three weeks, but she didn't know better.

And when he talked about it to his friends, James said that he was "twisted, mate" and even a little cruel.

But it was the truth anyway and girls and boys kept flinging themselves at him, claiming they'll make him see and whatnot. And Sirius thought that if he was a little cruel, they were all probably a little stupid.

Remus didn't say anything anyway. He just shook his head with the look of wonder he sometimes had on his face when Sirius was doing something particularly rash. It made Sirius smile and everything was good in the world once more. That was why Sirius liked Remus so much - he could make everything so much better without even saying a word that Sirius suspected him to perform some kind of secret spell or something.

"Padfoot? Back so soon?" asked James, lifting an eyebrow.

Then he took in his not quite red lips and still neat hair and he had this look of dawning comprehension on his face that Sirius hated with passion.

"Oh, already? How long did it last this time? A week?"

Sirius snorted - the more he thought about it, the dumbest it seemed.

"Five days", he answered.

_Do you believe in love?_

Merlin, after five days?

That was why he went more and more for boys - they were less demanding and easier to understand. For a while anyway. And a lot more satisfying, he sometimes thought. But that was beside the point and he tried not to dwell too much on that particular thought because it meant nothing, did it? He would just go on having two weeks relationships or whatever and then he would marry some good-looking bird who cooked decently and grow old.

But he would never love because love was just an illusion, a silly idea people were clutching through their life like a child clutches his teddy bear at night because it made everything less scary. Yes, it was comforting, the thought that one day, somebody would care so much for you that the rest of the world woudn't be so dark. But it was just a stupid lie, and Sirius was anything but stupid.

So he let James shake his head and go out of the dormitory to track down poor Lily Evans and bellow nonsensical declarations to her. He almost felt sorry for the girl.

He quietly crept near Remus' bed, wondering if the other boy was awake - the full moon was two days before and it was a bad one : the wolf was moody and agitated. Remus said he didn't know why, but he was hiding something, Sirius could tell.

He slowly parted the curtains, ready to slip into the bed beside his friend. James and Peter thought it was weird, the amount of time they spent together in bed - when one of them was depressed, the days before and after the full moon, when somebody asked "The Question" to Sirius and sometimes at night for reasons they never talked about like restlessness, the cold, or nightmares. Sirius was almost always the one who came but Remus never questioned it ; he just moved to make room for him and gave him that tired smile of his, not saying anything.

Sirius slipped under the covers and Remus rolled on his side, barely opening his eyes.

Sirius felt immediatly warm and content and wondered why anybody would be looking for love or whatever when you could have friends like Remus.

"Millie?" he asked.

Sirius swallowed and nodded.

"Did she asked...?"

"Yeah. Yeah, she did. I said "no"", he unecessarily added.

Remus made no comment.

"Why do they always have to ask that? Is that some kind of bloody sport to try and make me change my mind?" ranted Sirius.

Remus cleared his throat and shifted a little.

"I don't know. Maybe they just, you know... _hope_."

"Well, it's stupid", cut Sirius, harshly.

He watched Remus as he bit his lips and looked at the pillow under his head.

"Maybe... maybe they can't help it. It's like that, _hope_."

And he sounded almost wistful. Sirius didn't understand it and didn't like it either.

"James thinks I'm mad", he said, just for the sake of saying something, really. "But I've seen them, our parents and everyone, and my dad is right : love doesn't exist."

He didn't know why he needed to say it so much, but sometimes, it sounded empty and _sad_ and he wondered why.

Remus nodded and forced a smile, looking so tired it made Sirius ache.

"You're the only one who understand", he said without thinking.

Remus blinked, looking startled.

"I don't, he said. I don't understand, I just accept it."

"The little bint had it coming anyway", Sirius added.

"Did she?" asked Remus, his eyes closing again as a drowsy look settled on his face.

"I'm so sick of it, Rem. Of them all."

Why couldn't the others be like Remus, so simple and pretty and warm?

All of a sudden, it was very clear.

Sirius had the urge to scream "Eureka!", to sit up or just to do something, really, but he was way too comfortable to move. It was so obvious and perfect he couldn't believe he never thought of it before. He smiled and reached out to touch Remus face, despite everything in him which screamed that it was new and probably wrong. After all, it was _Remus,_ so it couldn't be that bad of an idea, could it?

Remus watched him with wide wary eyes as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to his, ignoring the voice whispering in his head that it was okay to snog girls and boys he barely knew the name of, but it wasn't okay not to love one of his best friends.

And Remus seemed to agree with it as he abruptly pulled away, his hand pressing against his lips as if they were hurting.

Maybe they were.

"What are you doing?" asked Remus.

He was trying to sound stern, Sirius could tell, but he was too bewildered, too unsure. Too terrified.

"It's okay", Sirius whispered, knowing that it was not but he couldn't help it - he always wanted _too much _to be reasonable.

"No, it's not fucking okay. You can't screw with me like that."

Remus was speaking very quietly, as if it would make it all less real. Sirius wouldn't have any of that.

"Why not? he asked. I mean, we are both single and we get along well and you like guys, so... it would be mutually beneficial."

Remus snorted.

"Mutually beneficial? Listen, Sirius, I'm not like all your little snogging partner, I know you don't do relationship and love and all that jazz and... it's not good for me."

Sirius was admittedly confused. What did that have to do with anything? He wasn't asking him to marry him, for Merlin's sake. He glanced at Remus, who was messing his hair and scrutinizing the quilt as if it had personally offended him.

He looked really quite snoggable and he was being ridiculous and girly. Sirius grabbed his chin and took upon himself to show him just how much.

"You see, he said when he released him, breathing heavily. I'm good for you - friends with benefits is good."

Remus flinched looking flushed and defeated.

"What? I'm not that bad of a kisser, am I?"

"No", answered Remus, almost inaudibly.

"So, good?"

Remus just nodded, adverting his gaze. Sirius smiled pulled him against him. And James was wrong, you could have everything, the beautiful delicious boy without the awkward questions.

Yes, it wasn't love, but it felt very nice all the same.

XXX

"Sirius?"

Sirius lifted his eyes from his essay to see Remus pacing in front of his bed.

"Yeah?"

Remus stopped and crossed his arms. He was so pale he looked ready to faint and Sirius almost voiced his concern but Remus silenced him with a glance.

_Shut up, it's important_.

"Sirius, I..."

He faltered and Sirius straightened, furrowing his brow. Something was very wrong, he could feel it. Well, if he was honest, he'd felt it for quite some times now : Remus was growing distant, evading his questions and making excuses to avoid staying alone with him.

Sirius wondered if Remus wanted to end the _thing_ between them which had been going on for several months now and found himself feeling oddly ill at the thought.

He abruptly stood up and strode to where Remus had stilled, in front of the dormitory's large window. Remus seemed startled as he grabbed his face and proceeded to kiss him into oblivion.

If he didn't let him say it, then... Remus would never break the thing between them without explaining first - Remus was decent and considerate, he'd want to do things the proper way.

So, if he never got the chance...

"Si-Sirius! Stop!"

Remus desentangled himself from Sirius' embrace. The latter would have none of it though, grabbing his shoulders.

"Sirius", Remus sighed.

"What? What is it? Did I do something wrong?"

Sirius tried his hardest to calm his beating heart and to lower his panicky voice.

"Sirius, do you..."

He stopped himself again, averting his eyes.

"Tell me, I promise I won't be mad."

"Do you..."

Sirius closed his eyes and set his jaw, ready to take the blow.

"Do you believe in love?"

It was said so fast that Sirius almost didn't understand it. When he did, he released Remus, his hands falling limply at his sides.

"No."

The answer was automatic, he didn't even pause to think about it. Remus' face was ashen.

"Yeah, that's what I thought", he croaked.

And Remus was backing away. He was_ leaving_.

"So, I think we should..."

But Sirius didn't let him finish. He grabbed him again.

"I don't, you know that. But I believe that for every rule, there is an exception."

"An exception?"

And there was an almost-not-there smile on Remus' face, because Remus understood everything. He was smart and quick and already back into Sirius' tight embrace.

Oh yeah, Sirius believed in exceptions. Very much.

Remus smiled fully when Sirius' lips let go of his, red and swollen.

"I believe in exceptions too."

* * *

A/N : it was mushy, wasn't it? Well, I like mushy, and I felt depressed as hell - is it sad that mushy always makes me feel better?


End file.
